Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
