when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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