is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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