My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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