I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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