Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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