I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
vagina is talking i cant
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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