Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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