how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
