did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
