Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
