Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Randomize
