You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
