making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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