what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
