So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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