my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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