How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
