Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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