in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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