I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
