I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
