She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
