we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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