@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
