Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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