Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
In other news, I just burned my penis
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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