Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
