butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
