I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We have started to decorate penises.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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