You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
