i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
