Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
