Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
