I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize