The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
