We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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