so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
