Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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