well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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