Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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