Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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