I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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