Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
