Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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