Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
