I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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