i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
