You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
They have beer where we have blood.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
