i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
