just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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