i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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