he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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