I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
