Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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