Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
