I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
