You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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