ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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