idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I fill condoms, not promises.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
