what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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